it's too easy to give into an urge.

i think the biggest problem i've found today is seeing someone else smoke, then knowing instinctively that i need a cigarette.

which is bollocks.

it's a poor excuse for peer-pressure.

i'm not even being offered, let alone force-fed the bastard things, + yet i still have that thought that i need a cigarette.

to be honest, the cravings generally weren't that bad.

most people would look at my 12 hours + decide that i was weak, but bear in mind i've been piling the fuckers into me for 10 years at 40 a day.

big red marlboros, too.

not entirely sure if that makes a difference at this point.

probably not.

anyway, no more tonight.

the first 24 hours are the hardest, apparently.